Looking for you
by fictionlover5
Summary: How I wanted things to go. Watched the show and I loved JeNate. Most of the time Jenny's or Nate's pov. Please read and review.
1. Gone

AN: First JeNate story. This is how I wanted things to go. I know GG is over and I know they didn't end up together but I really think they should have gotten a chance. I mean he wrote her a letter he could've sent a text or a mail but no it had to be a letter. I just loved them together. I don't GG sadly enough, I might owe some charapters in the upcoming ch. Hope you enjoy it and please review. There will be a second charapter if I get 4 ratings, sorry just I don't want to write a story when nobody reads it. I am from Belgium so sorry if my language is bad.

' ' are thoughts and " " are spoken words but I think most of you already figured it out.

* * *

_Nate's p.o.v._

'She is gone, God she left without saying goodbye. How could she?! Okay, yeah maybe we weren't on good terms because she tried to break up me and Serena but that doesn't mean she doesn't have to say goodbye, or at least why she left. But who am I to talk I mean I am the one who pulled her away, the one who rejected her so many times he lost how many times it were. So yeah maybe she had a reason to not talk me. but still it feels wrong. Should I call her? Or text her? No, she probably won't even answer, she was really mad and I wanted to ask her a few days ago why she changed so much but she just ran away. Was I stupid for rejecting her? Geez I don't know I am so confused right now.' then there came some memories in his mind. God did he miss those big blue eyes and those blonde hairs and those oh so soft lips where he couldn't enough from and those long legs that went on for days.

_"I thought we could hang out together."_

_"I'm not leaving with you." "Fine than I can wait"_

_"How could you do that to me?" "What are you talking about, you're lucky I showed up when I did, that was a bad scene Jenny" "What, no it wasn't okay. We were dancing in our underwear not making a porno." "Not yet anyway" "No not ever, I would never get myself in a situation like that. Alright? I know what I'm doing Nate" "I know you think you do but that guy was taking advantage of you." "__Okay, you are not my father and my brother so why do you care so much" "Because..." Then she kissed me and she was like toxic, I sighed and she turned around to walk away and I pulled her back kissed her rough. God did that make out session feel good, I just couldn't get enough from her._

_"And since when are you so worried, you haven't spoken two words to me all week." "Jenny come on, you know it's complicated." "you care about me prove it, come with me." "Maybe I should drive."_

_"I pulled you a suit on the way out, it would really mean alot to me if you stayed." She laughs and walks away and i can't help but chuckle._

_"you kissed me again." "I know"_

_"Jenny whatever you decide, I'm with you."_

_"You're a really special girl Jenny, who deserves a guy who is gonna see that. You know who is gonna be there in the morning." "Not like you're available." _

_"You can't be with someone who is dealing drugs." "Why not it's not like you haven't done any. Stop, pretending that you care about me. In fact the only one who does just got here." "I'm sorry there is no way I'm letting you leave with her"_

_"Hey you wanna dance?" "Uhm, yeah"_

_"I'm glad you didn't. Honestly, you're not who I thought you were" 'Stupid, stupid for letting her slip away. Why did I choose Vanessa.'_

_"Jenny." "Who the hell are you" "Get of her."_

_"You Ok?" "What's wrong with me?" "Nothing is wrong with you."_

_God she lost her virginity to Damien, I mean it's not like I hoped that she would give it to me but she could've waited I mean they broke up after it. Now I lost her, God I'm so stupid. Why do I always make the wrong decisions. Was it wrong to choose all those other girls over her. God I feel sick. I just need to talk to her. I made so many bad decisions and now I'm 'hanging out' with girls from Chuck's black book. What am I doing? Where did I get myself in this time?_

* * *

So this was it. I hoped you enjoyed it. Next chapter comes soon. xx


	2. Regrets

chapter 2

Hope you enjoy it and review. So it isn't completely the same as the show but I hope you like it.

* * *

_Jenny's pov._

I am so happy I could finally get out of there. I am not proud of what I did and I regret it trufully but sleeping with chuck was my only ticket out. I knew once Blair would find out I would have to leave. I didn't say goodbye to anyone exept of my family, maybe it was for the best I mean they won't even miss me. Serena hates me for trying to steal Nate from her. Blair hates me for sleeping with Chuck. Chuck hates me for ruining is happines. And Nate, God Nate I hate him so much. He probably hates me for ruining his already dead relationship. I mean like come on I love Nate, and did you see how Serena treats him like he is a dog. I don't blame her, he follows her like he is her dog. What can I do about it. I mean Dan knew I wanted to leave town but he didn't know how I was going to do it. He was really dissapointed in me and how can I blame him I am dissapointed in myself. And Eric,I just kept pushing him away while he was trying to be there for me. I told him how sorry I was and he forgave me and said it was no problem, that we all come at a point where we push away the people we care about. Dan doesn't blame me but it's hard for him to understand why I did it. Even I and Eric don't know it. It was probably the alcohol. Dad doesn't know that I lost it to Chuck and not to Damien but I want to keep it that way for now. I don't think I'll ever forgive myself for this. I wanted my first time to be special, I wanted it to be Nate I always wanted that.

* * *

6 months later

God now I am back in the city I just hope that Blair doesn't find out. I am not here to do something wrong I am just here for a meeting for my fashionline.

"Jenny!" Dan yelled

"Hey how are you Dan? Where is Eric? Everything okay? How was dad lately?"

"Wow wow calm down tiger. Let's go home first and then we will talk."

"Fine"

We arrived at the loft and started talking. But that happines was gone immediatly when I saw Blair. Oh god life couldn't go any worse.

"I thought I banished you" She said with her high pitch voice.

"Don't flatter youself Blair, I'm not here for you. I'm just here for a meeting."

"I don't care why you're here, I told you to leave this city and never come back."

"Stop it" I yelled. She was taken aback I mentally smirked at myself.

"You think you have the right to judge about everyone or to make everybody's life miserable because you are miserable yourself. I'm sick of it Blair! It's already later. I mean you forgave Serena for sleeping with Nate and taking his virginity while you were still dating him and you also forgave him, but you can't forgive me for sleeping with Chuck when you two broke up!" I was screaming louder and louder

"You know why Jenny? Because I thought you were better than any of them. I thought you would't backstab me like all the rest but no you just had to screw it!" She screamed.

"You really think I wanted to sleep with him? Absolutely not! But he was there and he was sad about you breaking up, I was sad about everything in my life. He was drunk and so was I, but I never wanted it to happen. He even told me I could leave if I wanted to but I just didn't want to be alone. And I thought sleeping with Chuck would be my ticket out of town. And I knew if you knew you would banish me and I wanted to come back once I was ready and once I became back the one I was what still didn't happen and I'm still not ready but that doesn't mean you have to make a problem of me being one day in town when you forgive the people that have done much worse thing than me!" I was crying while screaming but I couldn't help it. I calmed myself down and continued. "I'm so sorry Blair, I really am. If I could go back in time I would and it wans't how I imagined my first time but yeah I can't go back in time and I can't say how sorry I am. But Blair I regretted every second it and I hope that one day you will be able to forgive me."

"Wait it was your first time with Chuck? But why, why Chuck?"

"Don't you get it Blair you came to me earlier that day saying no one would ever love me and then the drama with my dad happend. So I went over to Nate and Chuck's appartement, I wasn't there for Chuck, I was looking for Nate hoping he could give me some advice,hoping he could confort me making the pain in my heart go away. But he wasn't and Chuck was

* * *

andI didn't want it but I didn't want to be alone. I wanted it to be special and with someone I love. I wanted it to be Nate. But don't worry I'm getting over him I'm dating this really sweet guy called Jason so you don't have to worry about me trying to ruin any relationship."

She then took me by suprise and hugged me. "I'm so sorry Jenny I didn't know. But why did you make us believe you lost it to Damien?"

"I wanted to see how everybody would react espec1ially Nate. I wanted him to say that Damien was never worth my virginity, saying he wanted to be my first, saying that he still had feelings for me even after rejecting me like a 100 times and abandone me when I do 1 bad thing even after breaking my heart so many times.

"I'm really sorry I didn't know. I unbanish you and you can come back whenever you're ready."

She turned away to leave "Blair?" I said

"Yes?" She asked

"Thank you."

She hugged me and this time I hugged back. "You're welcome but promise me one thing."

"What is it?"

"I'll be the first to know when you come back even before your family and you will call me anytime you need something." She said with a warm smile.

"I promise." She smiled and walked away and I smiled aswell then Dan broke me out of my thoughts.

"Ok we have a lot of catch up to do. You have a boyfriend and never told me about." He said while faking being offended. I giggled and pushed him away playfully. I see that everythin is going to be okay. Only Chuck has to forgive me.

* * *

I hoped you enjoyed it. Please review


	3. Secret is out

So this is chapter I dont own GG girl but I do own Jason. Thanks for your revieuw jpink3125.

Enjoy and review

* * *

_Jenny's pov._

God the intervieuw went well I might go to England. Dad, mom and Dan will propbably be very proud. Now I just had to talk stuf out with Chuck.

I went over to Chuck's house I just had to talk to him. I walked in and saw him there sitting drinking his favourite scotch. "Chuck?"

"Well isn't it our lovely Jennifer Humphrey. What are you doing here?" He asked with his Chuck smirk.

"I need to talk to you."

"What about? You aren't in trouble right? Blair found out didn't she?" He said with a worried and sad voice when he mentioned Blair.

"Well she found me and got angry and I explained her everything and that it wasn't your fault, that it was nobody's and she kind of forgave me. It will be a matter of time before she completely forgives me and you. But that is not why I'm here, I just need to ask you. Do you hate me?"

"What? No! Why would you think that?"

"Why not. I mean I ruined your relationship, I made you lose the one you love."

"Because, it wasn't any of our fault, we were young and drunk and in love with other poeple who broke our hearts, we didn't force eachother to do it. We were both hurt and sad and I don't think that you should ever think that I could hate you. I tried believe me, but I couldn't not after everything I did to you."

I hugged him, I was crying. He hugged back and stroke my hair.

"Sh it's all gonna be okay I'm gonna be there for you whenever you need me."

"Thanks Chuck. So you forgive me?" I said while wiping away my tears.

"Of course I forgive you, you are family."

It felt good to hear that.

"Good now I can forgive myself as well." "Wait you never forgave youself?"

"I couldn't, I couldn't while thinking that you guys may of hated me."

"Nobody hates you."

"Nate and Serena do." I said sad, saying his name

"No Serena might still be a bit angry at you but she doesn't hate you. And Nate was a dumbass, but he was a mess after he heard you left."

"Yeah, right. I know they hate me. Nate was just a mess because he and Serena broke up. Please don't lie to me Chuck."

"I'm not. He asked me why you left but I couldn't tell him because he was always so protective over you and he might have killed me especially since you were still a virgin.'

"Okay, if you say so. I need to get ready for that reception. Will I see you there?"

"Of course, you really think Chuck Bass would miss any party? That hurts." He said playfully.

I giggled and hugged him again "You will never change do you." I said joking "Okay see you later stepbrother."

"Bye, Humphrey."

"Don't call me that." I said mocking.

"Bye." He said with a grin.

I giggled to myself when I walked in the elevator. I stepped out and there I saw him the only person that could make or break my heart by one look. The one that played with my feelings. Yep you got it right Nate freaking Archibald. He hadn't seen me and I wanted to keep it that way. I hurried back in the elevator and went back to Chuck. I sighed, he still looked as handsome as I remebered maybe even more.

"Chuck!" I yelled panicked.

"What is it?" He asked worried.

"Nate is here, he was down he hasn't seen me yet and I want to keep it that way. Please tell me how to get out of here."

"Okay I'll take him out saying I might need something until then hide in my closet or something. I'll text you when we are out of the emire and in the limo."

"Omg thank you, thank you." I said running of. I still heard him chuckle a bit.

* * *

_Nate's pov_

I arrived in Chuck's appartement.

"Hey." I said.

"Hello Archibald." He said in his Chuck way.

"Same old Chuck." I told him.

"So what do I thank your visit for?"

"I was wondering if you wanted to go out for a bit because I need to talk to you."

"Fine I wanted to go out anyway. I wanted to buy something for Blair, hoping she might forgive me." He said, he wasn't lying.

"You really love her don't you?"

"You really think I would't if I am looking for a way for her to forgive me."

"Okay let's leave."

We left and Chuck sent some one a text.

"Who you texting."

"No one special, just something for a business."

"Oh, okay."

"So how is Spectator?"

"Good."

* * *

I got a text from Chuck saying I could leave I left as soon as possible. I had to be there in time.

I got home, took a shower and got ready I left with Dan.

_One hour later_.

Me and Dan arrived, Blair was there and Chuck as well and of course all the mean girls.

God did it feel weird to be here with a lot of people I know.

Not even a half hour later all our phones went off. It was Gossip Girl.

_Looks like New York's best kept secret is finally out. Turns out little J didn't lose her V-card to Damien Dalgaard. She waited and chucked it away with her stepbrother. Guess that explains the Humphrey in Hudson. Hell have no feary like a Waldorf scorned. _

_I know you love me,_

_XOXO Gossip Girl._

I swear my heart stopped beating at that moment. I could feel all eyes on me, Blair and Chuck looked shocked that somebody found out. I wanted to run away crying, but it also felt like a weight had been lift of my shoulder that I don't have to keep it a secret anymore. But then something caught my eyes, I saw Penelope smirking. How did she find out!

I just walked over to Dan and we walked out. Blair and Chuck followed us.

"Jenny I swear I didn't say anything." They said at the same time.

"I know" I said, they looked at me with suprise and confusion so I continued "I saw Penelope smirking. How did she even find out?!"

"I don't know." Blair said. "But I'll destroy her."

"No she isn't worth it and I won't be around anymore for a while."

"What do you mean?" She asked confused.

"I'm going to England for college."

"Wait does that mean you got in?"

"Yeah."

"Good for you, you deserve it." Blair said.

"And you deserve to be happy. I know you might not be ready but you and Chuck are meant for eachother. I never wanted to break that love of yours. You don't even know how much he loves, he was so broken when you broke up with him. You don't even see the way he looks at you when you don't look. Please Blair I just can't stand seeing you guys like this." My voice cracked. "So I'm going to pack my stuff for England and I wish you both good luck." I said and pulled them in a hug.

"Jenny wait." Blair called, I turned around and she walked up to me and whishpered in my ear "Thank you, I'll try to do whatever I can to forgive him." I smiled at that and turned around to walk away, Dan followed me and put his arm around my shoulder.

I think England is going to do me good.

* * *

_Nate's pov_.

My phone started to beep and I went to check it out. My jaw dropped once I saw the post.

_Looks like New York's best kept secret is finally out. Turns out little J didn't loose her V-card to Damien Damgaard, she waited and chucked it away with her stepbrother. Guess that explains the Humphrey in Hudson. Hell have no feary like a Waldorf scorned._

I kept reading it like a 100 times. 'No this can't be true she would never do that, she is to innocent to do that, especially with Chuck, her f*cking stepbrother!' 'He probably forced her or whatever, she would never do it for the fun would she?' 'What about Blair, they would never do that to her.'

I need to figure this out I was about to Chuck when I got another post.

_Spotted little J saying goodbye to her family again and leaving, for England this time. Where are you going little J, finally heading of to college? I wish you the best of luck._

_I know you love me,_

_XOXO Gossip girl._

I chocked, she left again. I am so stupid for not seeing her sooner.

I was so angry at her at myself and especially at Chuck. I swear I'm going to kill him once i talked to him. I was so jealous, why does Chuck always gets the V-card of the girls that I love. I always wanted to be her first, I know it might sound selfish but I really thought that I was the one I mean she tried to break up me and Serena. God I'm such an asswhole. She'll never forgive me. I just need to know if it was true so I send her a text.

'Is it true?'

* * *

So this was it for now the next one will come soon.


	4. Fight and Christmas Eve

So this is the next one

* * *

Jenny's pov

I was already on the plain when I got a message thinking it was from Eric or Dan saying goodbye, but when I saw who it was my heart stopped beating. It was from Nate should I read it or not. Maybe later when I arrive I don't want to break down in tears right now.

* * *

Nate's pov

Jenny didn't answer I waited for almos a half our and I couldn't stand it anymore. I took my jacket and left. I went over to Chuck's apartement and stormed in. "Chuck?" What I saw shocked me, he was kissing Blair I didn't know they were back together. "Uhm I'm sorry for interrupting,but I really need to talk to Chuck." I said in a pissed voice. "Well Archibald, what do you want to talk to me about?" "In private please." "No, whatever you need to tell me you can also say in front of Blair." "Fine. Did you sleep with Jenny while she was still a virgin?" I made me sick by just saying it, it was like poison coming out of my mouth. "Yes." He said calmly. "WHY,WHY WOULD YOU TAKE HER VIRGINITY, SHE WAS YOUR FUCKING STEPSISTER." I had grabbed him by the collar and pushed him to the ground and punched him a few times. "NATE!" Blair yelled and pulled me away from Chuck. "Why do you even care Nathaniel? It wasn't like we wanted it." He said angry. "Oh no then why did you sleep with her, huh?" "Not for the fun Nathaniel, she isn't a girl from my black book okay. I didn't even know she was a virgin until after we did it. And why do you even care huh? All you ever did was reject her again and again and for what for Vanessa that lying slut and for Serena or any other girl. No offence about Serena but still. I was there, she was there, I was sad and so was she and we were both drunk. We didn't want to be alone okay. She came crying about whatever problem she had and I was sad about us breaking up" while pointing at Blair and himself "And the one thing led to another. She didn't come for me. She was looking for you she came crying in the apartement calling out YOUR name but YOU weren't there! I gave her the chance to leave but she didn't. I didn't force her into anything it was her own choice but our mistakes." I was shocked and then I stuttered "S-She was l-look-king for me?" "Of course, you lived with me at that moment." "I know Chuck I am not stupid okay." "I think you are. You ignored her all this time played with her heart and broke it more times that I forgot how much it was. And all of sudden you think you have the right to come her and ask for an expanation. What even gives you the right to care about my stepsisters virginity. Huh?" "BECAUSE I LOVE HER. GOD I FUCKING LOVE HER CHUCK AND YOU KNOW IT WELL ENOUGH." "THEN WHY DID YOU LET HER SLIP AWAY?" "BECAUSE I NEVER FELT SOMETHING LIKE THAT BEFORE OKAY I WAS SCARED AND RUNNED TO THE FIRST PERSON I SAW!" Chuck sighed and ran his fingers through his hair frustrated. "It's about damn time you found out it was Jeny you wanted. But you know you don't have to tell me that you know. You have to tell her that and show her that you love her and win her trust back, like me and Blair." Then Blair spoke "I'm sorry for interrupting but ther might be something you need to know. First I was one of the reasons she cried I told her no one would love her that you belonged with Serena, Dan with Vanessa and Chuck with me. So it's also kind of my fault of what happened. But you are to late Nate." "What do you mean?" I asked. "She is already seeing some one. What was his name Jackson, Jake NO Jason yeah that was the name Jason." I broke when she said that and sank into Chuck's chair and putted my head in my hands. "I lost her didn't I?" "You might win her back nate have a little faith some day everything will be okay." She said "But I don't want to wait I can't survive without her by my side. You know what I'm going home I need to think. Just be happy and don't let go off eachother again because you're gonna regret it."

* * *

_30 minutes later (Jenny's pov)_

I got in my appartement and opened Nate's text I couldn't ignore him forever could I?

_'Is it true? N_'

How dare he to ask that it's non off his bussines. So I sent back.

'_Why the fuck do you care?! J'_

Not even a second later I got his respond.

'_Because. N'_

_'What you expect me to kiss you now. That might have been a good answer a year ago but not anymore! Just leave me alone Nathaniel! J'_

_'What if I can't and don't want to? N'_

_'Not my problem! J'_

* * *

_ Nate's pov_

I just got home when I got a text. OMG it was Jenny and opened it immediatly.

'_Why the fuck do you care?! J' _I wasn't going to let her slip away so easily

_'Because. N'_

She answerd_'What you expect me to kiss you now. That might have been a good answer a year ago but not anymore! Just leave me alone Nathaniel! J' _

What she never calles me Nathaniel she must really hate me.

_'What if I can't and don't want to? N'_

_'Not my problem!J__'_

Why doesn't she see that i just care about her, but it's not like I blame her I ignored her for like almost a half year. I just wish that I could talk to her. Just for once.

* * *

_Jenny's pov_

It is al ready 4 months later and I'm going to visit my family with Christmas Eve together with Jasons. I'm really happy with him, I think I'm really getingel over Nate. Yes I still love his blue eyes, his gorgeous smile and those soft hairs. NO! I'm not gonna think about him. My family knew that I was coming but they didn't know about Jasons and I want to keep it that way I realy want to surprise them. I arrived at the airport in Hudson where Jasons was waiting for me with his car. I saw him and ran up to him and kissend him passionately. "Hey how are you?" "Good beautiful. How was England?" "Amazing, it really changed me." "Yeah I can see, you look amazing." I blushed and thanked him. "So you ready?" He asked. "Couldn't be more ready." We drove off. The only one who knew that Jason was coming is Blair. Yeah you might think like what, but ever since I explained to Blair what happend that night she and I became friends, really good friends, and I know she didn't tell anybody because else they would've called. So I arrived at the Humphrey/Bass/ Van der Woodsen appartement with Jason and we arrived and the elevator doors opened.

"JENNY!" Blair yelled happily and swung her arms around my neck. I just left and hugged her back.

"Jenny!" Dan and dad ran up to me. "Hey guys I said while hugging theme."

Then they saw Jason stand behind me. Dad raised an eyebrow "Who is that?" he asked.

"Oh dad this is Jason the guy I met in Hudson." I said smiling.

"Oh nice to meet you." dad said while shaking his hand.

"Pleasure is all mine, Jenny has been talking about you all the time, I just couldn't wait to finally meet the amazing family Humphrey." He said looking at my dad and brother. I looked away and blushed.

"Oh I see." Dan said.

"DAN! Be nice."

"Fine I'll try but I can't promise anything sis."

I just glared at him.

"Okay of this sweet family moment." Blair said and we walked to the living room. Everybody was there Chuck, Blair, Dan, Eric, Serena, Lily, dad, Georgina, William, Bart, Jonathan, Vanessa and Nate. My heart stopped beating but I looked over Jason and smiled at him. "Jenny, sweetheart." Lily called, I went up to her and hugged her. "Welcome home." Chuck said and we hugged people looked like it was the weirdest thing on earth, well it kind of was. "It's good to see you again." Serena said and pulled me in a hug, that I was shocked was an understandment but I hugged back anyway. And then Eric walked up to me and pulled me into a tight hug. "God I'm so glad you're back, I had no one to gossip with. I wanted to greet you first but that didn't happen." I just laughed at him and hugged him harder. "So Jenny who is this guy?" Lily asked. "This is Jason, my boyfriend." Everybody exept for Blair, Dan and dad looked shocken, when my eyes landend on Nate I saw somthing in his eyes. Wait was it jealousy? No that can't be. Nate stood up and excused himself saying he had to go to the toilet. He looked mad and hurt and broken. Why did he have to look at me like that. Like I'm still causing problems or hurting people.

* * *

_Nate's pov_.

I breath got caught in my throat when I saw her for the first time again. She was even more beautiful than before. Gone were the dark clothes and eyeliner. She had a more natural look and it was breath taking. She had grown up in alot of ways, I just couldn't help but notice how her breast had grown. I just wanted to take her to her room and rip off her clothes. What I wanted to do to her. But then I saw this guy holding her hand and I got angry, please just tell me this is her cousin. "This is Jason, my boyfriend." That most of them were shocked was an understandment, is she still dating him. I couldn't help but look angry and jealous and sad for letting her slip away. I excused myself and saw the worried looks on Blair and Chuck's face and Jenny's confused look.

I went to the bathroom and cursed at my self I punched the wall a few times so hard that my knuckles started bleeding. "How could I be so stupid, the only person I love is with some one I don't know and I have no idea how to get her back. But I will do anything to win her back." As I walked out I saw Jenny in her room packing the few clothes she had and I went up to her I just neede to talk to her. "Hey." I said pretty nervous.

"Oh my God, Nate you scared me."

"Sorry. Can we talk?"

"About what?"

"Us."

"There is no us Nate, there never was."

"You know that isn't true."

"I wish."

"Please don't tell me those moments with each other didn't mean anything to you."

"They meant everything to me Nate, I was in love with you. But no after our first kiss you ignored me for a week and then you got pissed at me for because I was taking revenge at Vanessa for hurting me and lying to both of us, but you still choose her." OGM she loves me.

I stepped closer "What if that was a big mistake? What if I was jus running away from my feelings? What if I felt something with you I never felt before?"

"You're too late Nate. I gave you so many chances and still you rejected me." she said looking away while tears were forming in her eyes. I lifted her chin up.

"Please let me explain."

"There is nothing to explain, I came to you that night for comfort, because I was sad and I hoped you would realise I was the one for you. I wanted to give myself to you. But no you weren't there you were with Serena." She was crying I wiped her tears away. "I'm with Jason now and I'm happy."

"I love you Jenny, I always have, okay? I was just scared because you were Dan's little sister, to young. I didn't want you to think I was just going to use you till I got your virginity and leave you. With you I felt diffrent, alive. You didn't judge me for anything. You were the only one that I could talk to and be myself around. And that time that you kissed me in front of Agnes's appartement I just knew that it was you and I just couldn't be with you because I lived with you at that moment and I knew I just couldn't hold myself around you. Every kiss we had was like fireworks even the one you kissed me during the assassin game or the one at the masquerade ball. I was a mess when you left the first time, and when you left the second time I was even worse. Ask Chuck, Blair, even Dan everybody saw it. I almost killed Chuck for what he did to you. Please tell me what I have to do to make you believe me." I sat on my knees "Please, I never pleaded like this before."

She was crying "Please don't do this to me."

"Do what?" I said crying myself.

"Make me feel bad for the mistakes you made. I always had feelings for you. Don't you know what one of the reasons was I dated Damien. He looked like you, he had blue eyes, brown hair, he came from a good family and he deals drugs just like you used to. I just hoped you saw it was a mistake to let me slip. Didn't you notice how I changed after the Snoflake ball? Of course you didn't because you were to busy sticking your tongue down Vanessa's throat." She said wiping away angrily. I stood up from the ground.

"But you told me you loved me."

"Yes Nate loved in the past." She said looking away.

"Look me in the eyes and tell me you don't love me anymore." I demanded.

"I- I can't and you know it."

"Then please give me a chance to prove myself J."

"I don't won't to go there again Nate."

"Where? Hudson?"

"No being the broken girl who changes because some boy breaks her heart. I just can't. I don't want to be one of your girls Nate, I just can't."

"Girls?"

"Yeah I mean you move on from girl to girl Blair, Serena, Blair, Vanessa, me back to Vanessa to Blair and then back to Serena and all those other girls. I'm just keeping myself from a broken heart again. Please let me be happy for a minute with Jason."

"I don't care how big or bad your 'boyfriend' is I'll win you back. I'll do anything to have you again even if it was for a minute." Because Jason was pretty big and probably really strong. "I'll fight for you, and I'll try to win you back no matter what, I promise you."

"Don't make promises you can't keep." She said looking me straight in the eyes.

"I'll keep it."

"No you won't, just like last time you told me you were with me no matter what but where were you when I needed you the most." I wasn't louder than a whisper.

"I was always there for you. At cotillion, when you left with Damien I followed you, when Agnes drugged you."

"Yeah but you weren't there when I needed you the most, when I slept with Chuck."

I got sick inside.

"Please Jenny just please tell me what I have to do to win you back. Please, I can't live without you."

"You can't do anything Nate, if we're meant to be we will be some day." She said stoking my cheek I leaned into it and took it. Then she looked at my hand.

"Nate why are you bleeding?" She asked worried.

"After you told me who Jason was I just punched the wall a few times trying to control my anger and jealousy. I didn't even know I was bleeding. I said honestly because there was no reason to lie to her. If I want her back I need to win her trust in me.

"You did that?" She asked confused.

"I'll wait for you Jenny, no matter how long it takes I'll be there waiting for you to run in my arms." I leaned in and kissed her on the cheek because I know she wouldn't let me on the lips. She is a faithful girlfriend and I respect that. " I wish I could kiss you on the lips for one more time but you would never cheat on someone and that is one of the many reasons why I love you."

"Many reasons?"

"Yeah I have a little over a thousand."

"I think I should head back."

She started to walk away but she stopped at her door turned around and told me this.

"I also wished I could kiss you once more."

She then turned away and walked back. I just smiled at myself like an idiot.

I think it will be a bit easier to win her back now I know that.

TBC

* * *

I'm sorry it took me so long, but it was a pretty long one so I'm gonna split it in 2. I'll try to post ASAP and review please. Hope you enjoyed it.


	5. Christmas Eve: part 2

Thank you evey one for all the reveiews it meant a lot. It feels good when people appreciate what I do. Last chapter was pretty long I know. So this is the next chapter. Read, enjoy and review.

* * *

_No one's pov._

Jenny walked back into the living room and had calmed herself down a few minutes later Nate came back as well.

"You okay, man?" Chuck asked Nate.

"Yeah couldn't be better." Nate said lying and with a sad tone.

"Just give it some time. She'll come back, just give it time."

"I think that's it I can't stay away from her, I can't let her slip away not now not ever again."

"Just give it some time, look how it turned out for me and Blair. Give her the time to realise you're the one and not that Jason crap."

"Fine I'll try to wait." He said.

"Okay time for dinner!" Rufus called out.

They all set down and Nate was sitting across from Jenny and Serena on his right. Nate was looking at Jenny all the time and she was trying to ignore his gaze while talking to Jason and Dan who were both sitting each on one side.

"Okay so before we get started, I just want to thank you all for coming here even if you maybe had plans. I remember the time when it was only me, Jenny, Dan and Allison but I'm really happy that circle grew bigger, and that we all have such a great bond. So cheers." Rufus said while raising his glass.

"Cheers" Everybody said.

"OMG Nate your hand is bleeding!" Serena Exclaimed.

"Oh it's nothing." He said shrugging.

"Yes it is!" By now everybody was looking.

"How did it happen?" Rufus asked.

"I don't really know some accident or something. Really its nothing I don't even feel it."

"Fine but let me take care of it." Serena said.

It's not like Serena still has feelings for Nate, but he is her best friend, so when he is in pain she takes care of him. Jenny finally looked up and got kind of jealous whn she was Serena take care of Nate but suprisingly he was lookin at her and looked away quickly. Chuck and Blair looked understanding at eachother. They have never saw Nate this broken and desperate not with Blair nor Serena nor Vanessa or any other girl he dated. They knew what Jenny was to him, it was like Blair to Chuck or Serena to Dan. Everybody must have noticed it that he likes even loves Jenny. Nate sat back down with Serena when Jason whispered something in Jenny's ear Nate just looked away. They ate dinner and the Humphreys were cleaning up the tables, Jenny was about to pick up the pile of plates when Nate took them from her and said "Let me take it." he walked in the kitchen and putted them in the sink. "Nate you don't have to do that, you're our guest." "I'd do anything for you." He said not louder than a whishper, she shivered. "Thanks" She mumbled and went back to cleaning the table.

After a half hour everbody was sitting in the living room, talking and laughing and then Jason leaned in and gave Jenny a peck on the lips and that is when Nate got quiet and everybody noticed it. He stood up and walked over to Dan and Rufus.

"Dan, mr. Humphrey thanks for you're invitation but I think I should head home now."

"This early, it's not even midnight yet."

"Yeah but I think I should go I am just going one last time and then leave." Before he left for the toilet he looked one time at Jenny and walked away. Blair and Chcuk stood up to follow him but Jenny spoke "Let me talk to him." they nodded and left. What she didn't see was the confused and jealous look on Jason's face.

A few minutes later Nate got out of the bathroom and was Jenny standing there. "What are you doing here?" He asked suprised.

"Why are you leaving?"

"Why does it matter to you? You're all happy with Jason?" He said pissed.

"Nate don't be angry at me." She pleaded.

"I'm not angry, I just can't stand to see you together so maybe it's for the best that I leave."

"Please stay."

"I can't."

"Why not."

He hesitated "Because."

"Please explain."

"Because I LOVE YOU and it kills me to see you with him. But I want you to be happy and if he makes you happy I'll just leave you alone and try to move on."

"Nate just please give me time to make up my mind."

"I can't J I really can't wait when I know you will be with him or any other guy."

"Now you finally know how it feels. You know how it was to see you with all those girls."

"I'll just leave you alone okay Jenny. Please don't make me beg for you to move."

"What if I don't want you to leave." She said looking him in the eyes.

"Please stay Nate, just tonight and then we'll see where it leads us."

"Can I just get one kiss."

"What? Nate, no. Why."

"I want one last kiss before we say goodbye."

"Please don't say goodbye, we're not saying goodbye."

"We are Jenny, once you leave back for England we're saying goodbye."

"I'll give you one kiss but not now."

"Promise?"

"Promise." She said and with that Nate smiled and they walked back in the room.

Everybody looked at them with a questioned look.

"She is really convincing, so are we really shooting fireworks ourselves?"

"Yeah of course this is also a Van der Woodsen party what did you expect." Serena said laughing.

"Okay then I'll stay. There is nothing better than shooting fireworks yourself well exept for sailing." They all laughed.

The evening went really well and Nate couldn't swipe off the smile of his face. Chuck noticed it and was going to talk to him about it.

* * *

So this was the next one. You can also follow me on twitter btw AnaMa2806 I always follow back. Sometimes it takes some time but I always follow back. The next one will come soon.

xxx


	6. goodbye's and news

So I know it took long. Remember the one sentence I wrote in Fight and Christmas Eve I took that sentence from glee (you know the sentence, I don't care how big or bad he is ...). I think we should keep writing as much stories as we can only because they didn't get a happy ending we can make one ourself. I'm gonna write as much stories as possible. So enjoy and review.

* * *

_Jenny's pov._

Jason already left a week ago and I'm leaving in 5 hours Dan is bringing me to the airport. I'm passing by everyone to say goodbye. I really don't want to say goodbye to Nate, not because I'm going to miss him well that to but because I don't want to kiss him. I'm really happy with Jason and I don't want to cheat even if he is acting really strange lately. I arrived at Blair's because I know Chuck and Blair spend most of their time there. "Blair, Chuck?" "Jenny!'" Blair yelled and ran up to me and hugged me. I know its still a bit weird that me and Blair and friends and me and Chuck but yeah things change."Hi." I said while I was giggling at Blair's craziness. "Hello J." Chuck greeted I went up to him and pulled him in a hug, Blair joined. "I'm gonna miss you guys so much!" I said. "Well you can stay and not miss us." Blair said "You know I can't I have school there and you know that." "I know but I wish I could change it not only for us." "What do you mean?" she looked at Chuck and nodded at eachother now I was even more confused. "I mean Nate." "Please don't talk about Nate." "He really loves you, you don't even see the way he looks at you." Chuck said. I sighed "I don't know but he can't think that I'm just going to run into his arms, I wish I could but I can't. Not after all those rejections." "I kniw what you mean, but I want the best for you and my best friend. I never saw him this desperate and broken about a girl before not even Serena." Chuck continued. "I just need time Chuck, I need to make up my mind." "Fine but don't let him wait to long. I don't know how long I can stand to see him suffer." "He doesn't suffer." "Yes he does. He also blames himself for everything that he did to you or that happend to you that it isn't healthy anymore. He is making himself sick because of you." Chuck said I felt tears form in my eyes I didn't know he was blaming himself for it. this really wasn't healthy especially for him. "I think I should talk to him about it." "Yeah ASAP please." Blair said " I never saw him this broken not even about me." she continued. "Well I'm gonna leave now and leave you 2 and I'll see you guys soon." I hugged them one more time and started leaving and I heard Blair say to Chuck "They better get together soon or there might get people hurt." She must've thought I didn't hear it and I want to keep it that way.

* * *

_30 minutes later_

I arrived at Nate's appartment and walked in. Nate was sitting on the couch looking at the clock like he was waiting for something once I walked in he looked immediatly my way and smiled that perfect smile of his.

"Hey." I said weakly.

"Hey." Wait did he just sound nervous.

"Nate I know I shouldn't be saying this now but Chuck told me what you did."

"What I did? And what's that?" He asked

"Yeah you know, blaming yourself for everything that happend."

"Oh that yeah it all my fault I shou..." But I interupted him

"Nate STOP!" I yelled and he was taken aback. I walked closer to him and putted my hand on his cheek and he leaned into it just like last time.

"Don't ever blame youself for everything that happend okay. I would never forgive myself if anything happend to you because you do something stupid because you think the wrong thing." He opend his mouth to say something but I beated him

"No let me finish. It wasn't your fault at all okay. It was all mine, not yours. If you want to be mad at some one it's at me. Please I don't blame you, nobody blames you so you shouldn't blame yourself either. I know that it might be a bit hard for you to see me with Jason and I won't lie I still have feelings for you, but you need to understand that I need to think about it. I can't just walk into your arms like last time, I don't want to get hurt again. But it's none of your fault. Promise me that you will stop blaming youself. Please just promise."

"I would promise you anything." He said. "And you know I can't be mad at you even if I would want to I can't. It isn't a bit hard to see you with Jason, no it's killing me to see you with him but what hurts even more is that I won't see you for a long time. Again. And it is kind of my fault, if I heard you out at the snowflake ball we might have been happy together and I might have even proposed by now."

"No you wouldn't."

"Yes I would. Because there is no other girl I would love to spend my life with and you know why. Because I love you. I would go to the end of the world for you if that's what you want. I would do anything for you only to see you smile. God only one look or one smile can hypnotize me. You can make me do anything you want exept ofstaying away from you because that is the hardest thing I've ever done. But I'll give you the time and you know why. Because I know you'll be mine at the end. But you promised me a kiss and I'm not letting you leave till I got it."

I leaned up and kissed him on the cheek.

"Please a real kiss. I want to tast you 1 last time."

"Fine" I breathed out.

I leaned in carefully but then Nate crashed his lips into mine. God did it feel good to touc his lips again, NO I'm dating Jason, bt why did it feel so good to kiss Nate. I responded immediatly and ran my hand through his hair. God did I miss doing that. All my doubts adn worries slipped away, I just wanted to enjoy this moment. He pulled me up and I wrapped my feets around his torso, he lead me to his room and putted me gently on his bed. OMG is this really gonna happen, I didn't care if this was just for once. He laid above of me and I unbuttond his hemd and pulled it off he groaned and I just couldn't hold it any longer.

"God Jenny!" He said, his eyes had turned dark already. He pulled away and almost ripped of my shirt.

"Calm down tiger, I still need to get home with those clothes."

"What if I don't want that? What if I want to hold you here?" He said with a husky tone. He made circles on my stomach and I shivered under his touch. I pulled myself away from him with as much force as I could because I didn't want to.

"You know that is impossible."

"Why?"

"Be-Because I have to leave in 2 houres and I have Jason." Nate groaned at that.

"I'm trying to show you how much I love you, how much I missed you and how stupid I was to let you go and you start all over again."

"Well Nate, maybe I don't like cheating on my boyfriends." He looked hurt after I said that. "Na-Nate I didn't..."

"No it's fine. You're right but the only reason I cheated on those girls was because I didn't want them, they weren't the one for me. And the only girl that is the one for me just keeps pushing me away and keeps ignoring my confessions. But you know what never mind I get it. You're happy with Jason and don't want me so just leave and be with him." He said pointing at the door at the last sentence.

"Nate please you know it's not easy." I said while tears were forming in my eyes. Again.

"Actually it is. It's or me or him."

"Nate I can't choose."

"Fine then I'll choose. Go be with him, go be happy." He said with a sad and annoyed voice. But also broken and fragile.

I took a step forward but he took a step backwards, I chocked and let the tears stream down my face. I just couldn't hold it anymore.

"You make me happy. But I can't be with you not now, Jaso was always there for me. You just don't get it."

"Don't make this any harder for me. You told me to prove that I changed, that you can trust me but you don't give me the chance to prove it." He was crying now as well.

"Nate ..."

"No please just leave. Please."

"Fine." I said not wanting to make him feel any worse. I walked to the door and stopped for a minute and then said "Just so you know I really wanted to sleep with you." and then walked out. I heard something break but I couldn't look back. I got a text. It was from Nate it said **"I wanted that to so much. Always your Nate."**

I couldn't help but smile at that and ran back I knocked on his door and when he opend it I crashed my lips on his.

* * *

_Nate's pov._

Everything was perfect until that stupid fight happend and then she walked out and just threw a bottle at the wall. I just send her a stupid text not even 2 minutes there was a knock on the door 'Ugh who is it?' I thought. I opened the door and a pair of lips were crashed onto mine. I responded immediatly because I could know who this lips belonged to even in my sleep. Jenny pulled away and I leaned my forhead against hers. Our eyes were locked.

"That was your goodbye kiss." She said with a small smile.

"You don't think I'm gonna let you leave after you kissed me like that." I said in a joking voice but was actually very serious.

"Well mr. Archibald if you want me to finish college to become a proffesional designer you have to." she answerd in the same way.

"Well I'll wait for you till you get back."

"I'll see you then."

She pecked me softly, smiled and then left. I just couldn't sweap that smile of my face for houres and the feeling of her lips was still so fresh. It's just sad that I can't see and feel her for a long time.

* * *

_No one's pov._

Jenny said goodbye to her family and got onto the plain. She arrived in London and fell on her bed with Nate on her mind. She was happy but also felt guilty for doing what she did. What she didn't know is that Jason has been cheating on her for a long time. (AN: OMG DRAMA) Also that Blair and Chuck made a plan only because Chcuk never trusted Jason he send a detective after him to follow him everywhere and see what he does.

School went really good for Jenny the next months and she couldn't be happier. But to everything comes an end. One day her phone buzzed and what she saw shocked and broke her. It was a picture of Jason kissing another girl in the middle of nowhere. She felt the tears slip and called Jason immediatly. He picked up with a sleepy voice.

'WTF it's already 4pm!' she thought.

"HOW COULD YOU!" She yelled.

"Jenny calm down what are you talking about."

"About you kissing that girl in the middle of nowhere."

"Ho-How do you know?"

"Someone send me a picture. How could you? I trusted you!"

"And what about you and Nate huh?"

"What do you mean?" She asked 'He couldn't know right.'

"The way he looks at you, the way he does everything for you."

"He is my best friend and he has feelings for me but that doesn't give you the reason to cheat on me!"

"And you don't have feelings for him?!"

"I'll always have some kind of feelings for him because he was my first love. You know what I'm sick of this, I never want to speak to you ever again. Don't call me, don't text me and don't try to reach my family. I never want to see you again. Bye Jason, we're over."

"Jenny please let me explain."

"Explain what? that you cheat on me because you think there is something going on with me and Nate. Bye Jason hope to see you never again." She then hung up and started crying, her roommate Sophie then walked in.

"Jenny what's wrong?"

"Ja-Ja-Jason wa-was ch-cheating on m-me."

"Oh sweety it's not your fault, he doesn't deserve you. Don't cry about a guy who isn't worth it."

Jenny wiped away her tears and smiled at her friend.

* * *

_4 years later (still no one's pov)_

Jenny was a bit of everywhere in the world because she started a business with Blair called J for Waldorf. She hadn't seen her friends and family for a long time. She also hasn't talked to Nate at all. Not because they were avoiding eachother, well Nate wasn't, Jenny was trying to avoid him but they were also very busy. Not for any reason but just because she thought it would be awkward. Nate was working at spectator and there were rumours that he was running for mayor. Jenny was in Paris now working on something when she got a phone call.

"Hello?"

"Hey Jenny!" Dan said exited.

"Dan hi. How are you?"

"Oh I couldn't be better. I finally asked Serena to marry me and she said yes!"

"OMG that is great! I'm glad you finally asked I couldn't stand to hear you any longer like 'Oh but what if she says no or if it isn't perfect or I'm not good enough for her.'" She said with a Dan voice.

"haha very funny. So I was calling to invite you, our wedding is in 4 months."

"Wow that's soon."

"Yeah. Oh yeah Serena wants you as one of her bridemaids."

That made her quite.

"Jenny you still there?"

"Uh, yeah it' just that I didn't know she would want me to be one of her bridemaids. I mean I ruined her relationships and probably her life. I thought she hated me."

"No she may have hated you then for a while but she doesn't anymore for a long time." He said.

"Fine. I'll be there in 2 weeks knowing you, you will need some one to help you with your freak out moments." She said joking me.

"ha ha, very funny." He said but Jenny could hear the smile in his voice.

"Okay I gotta get back to work but talk to you soon."

"Okay. See you in 2 weeks. Bye sis."

"Bye Dan."

They hung up and Jenny went back to work.

Meanwhile Dan told Serena that Jenny still thought she hated her and S looked with disbelief and hurt at him.

"What? But you told her I don't right?"

"Of course I did. But she might need to hear it from you when she gets back before she will finally believe it."

"Yeah sure I'll do that. Jenny is like a sister to me even when I hated her."

Dan pulled her to him and said.

"Well then your wish is coming true she'll become your sister."

They looked at eachother with such a love when Serena spoke.

"My only wish was to become miss Humphrey and than one will become reality soon."

"I couldn't be more happy." He breathed out and kissed her passionatly.

* * *

So this was it. I know my chapters are pretty long. I'm gonna write a lot of stories. I might not be posting a chapter soon because I'm busy but I'll try to do my best.

Please review. ;)


	7. Opinion

HEY everyone, I have a lot of ideas but I want your guys opinion.

Should I get Jenny and Nate together the next chapter during/after the wedding or should I wait and put a little drama in it.

Let me know and when I finish school or when I have some time I will write it.

Lovies me :)


	8. weddings and reunions

So I finally finished it. I'm so sorry guys it took me so long to finsih it but i've been so busy that I didn't have time for it. I'm so sorry. I am so so so sorry.

Enjoy and review!

* * *

_Jenny's pov._

I was on my way to the restaurant I am meeting S to talk about the wedding. When I arrived Serena was already sitting at a table waiting for me. 'Okay this is it' I thougth. I sat down and greeted her "Hey Serena." She cheered up and smiled at me

"Hey Jenny. How are you? It's so great that you're back!" and with that she hugged me.

"Yeah it's good to be back." I said unsure

"So I talked to Dan and I want to make one thing clear." she said very serious.

'Oh god this can't be good'

She took my hand "I don NOT hate you Jenny, you think I do because of what happend between me and Nate but I don't. I'm kind of happy it happend"

'WOW'

"Really thanks." She hugged me and started talking again.

"So what I really called you for is that I want you to make my dress."

"OMG really?"

"Yes"

"OMG that's great thank you so much. So what are your idea's."

"I want it gold and silver."

"sounds good. So I'll come up with some ideas okay?"

"Okay thanks. See you soon."

We hugged and left.

I went home and started working immediatly.

After 2 days I got already 4 kinda dresses.

I'm heading over to Serena to show her the dresses Dan is not there thank God.

I knock on the door and Serena answerd.

"Jenny hey what are you doing here?"

"Oh I just finished a few ideas and wanted to show them to you."

"Already wow you work fast."

"Thanks but there are only like 4 so."

"Show me."

"okay."

Serena looked at them.

"So what do you think?"

"What I think? I love them. I've already choosen."

"Really which one."

"This one."

"Okay I'll work on it."

"Wow thanks see you soon." They hug and Jenny rushes out.

Time flew by and the wedding plans went very well.

* * *

**The day of the wedding.**

_Serena's pov._

I am so nervous. Well not a bad kind of just the happy kind of nervous. I'm marrying the man I love and my dress looks perfect.

* * *

_Nate's pov._

They are finally getting married and I'm so happy for them and I can't wait to see Jenny again. I know she is single again and I want to be with her biut this time I'm going to do it right.

I walked around and saw Rufus so I walked up to him

"Hi mister Humphrey."

"Oh hey Nate. How are you kid."

"Good I'm really happy for Dan and Serena."

"I know, me to."

"But I actually wanted to you about something else."

"Sure what is it."

"I just to have your permission to date your daughter."

"Nate... I don't know about that. You broke her heart wich made her do stupid things. And may I remind you, you didn't break her heart once, you broke it sp many times that she even slept with Chuck Bass for God's sake. Okay we have all grown up but I'm not sure."

"Please I've changed. I love your daughter so much. I love her with all my heart. I love her more than my own life."

"Nate I'll give you one more chance but if you screw it up again I'll break every bone in your body okay?"

"Yes sir. Ther is no other way i would want it. I mean not that I want you to hurt me but that you also look out for her."

"Okay that great I'll talk to you later."

Before Rufus walked away he looked op and smiled. I followed his look and my jaw dropped. There was Jenny walking down the stairs in a short golden dress that fit her perfectly. I saw a lot of other guys looking at her and all I wanted to do was punch them. I had already clenched my fists.

"Calm down Nate." Rufus said who noticed my sudden change of emotions.

Jenny walked up to us.

"So did you check on the soon to be husband and wife?"

"Yes of course, Dan is chickening out and Serena is as calm as possible."

"Well that's how we know Serena and well yeah Dan is Dan. I will go check on them as well. I'll talk to you guys later."

We just stood there for a while and it was awkward so I started the conversation.

"Hey Jenny I heard that you are working on a whole new collection right now."

"Yes I am."

"And how is it going?"

"Good."

"Can you please stop being like that?"

"Like what?"

"Like I'm a stranger to you."

"Well I'm sorry Nate I don't know how to be around you any more."

"Please will you give me a chance to convince you why we should be together?"

"Nate please..."

"Please Jenny I miss you please just give me a chance."

"Fine"

"Great meet me after the wedding at my appartement."

"Sure"

I kissed her on the cheek and walked away.

We all got to our places because the ceremony was about to begin. I looked up and saw that Jenny was already looking wich gave me a really good feeling. I smiled and she smiled back.

Dan was standing on his place and then the music started. Serena walked down the stairs in a beautiful gold dress wich I heard Jenny made. As always Serena looked perfect in it.

The ceremony went perfect and half of the people were crying out of joy.

Later almost all the food was gone and every one was watching the married couple leave for their honeymoon. Every one was waving while theye were leaving and I left as well I knew that Jenny would still help a bit around to clean up.

Blair and Chuck knew about my plan so they didn't mind me leaving. They would also take care that Jenny would stay at least a half our there so that I would have enough time to set things up. I am going to set up those stuff with roses and candels. I know it sounds cliche but she deserves the best.

* * *

_1 Hours later_

_Jenny's p.o.v._

We were done cleaning up most of the mess. I got ready said goodbye and left to go over to Nate's.

I was actually very nervous, I haven't talked to him like for so long and I'm really stressing about later.

I saw that he was talking my dad and I'm curious what they were talking aboout but I'll ask him that.

Right now I'm standing in front of his door to scared to knock. I just really love him but I don't want to end up heartbroken again.

Okay you know what never mind let's just get over with this.

Here goes everything and nothing.

I knocked.

* * *

_Nate's p.o.v._

I was waiting for Jenny and I was really nervous. What if she is already seeing some one or if she doesn't want. I don't know how to survive that. Without her I'm not complete.

I was about to call Chuck but there was a knock on the door.

OMG that must be her. Okay calm yourself Nate it's just Jenny from Brooklyn, the girl you loved since the first accident kiss when you thought it was Serena although you never dared to admit it.

Ok I open the door and there she was standing.

TBC...

* * *

Okay so this is it for now. I know it took so long and I'm really sorry but I'll try to post asap.

Thank you all for reading my story you guys are awesome. I'm thinking of writing a book, I already wrote like 1 sentence. What do you guys think of that?

Please follow me on instagram anamusicfan or on snapchat ana19990628 or on twitter: AnaMa2806.


	9. the talk

So guys I am so sorry I haven't posted in such a long time. But it's just that I have been really busy with school and work and teaching dance/dancing. I will really try to post ASAP after this one. It might be a short one.

I had actually finished this chapter but I lost it so I had to write it again.

R&amp;R

Enjoy.

* * *

_No one's p.o.v._

Jenny was standing in front of Nate's door. She was very nervous. 'Come on Jenny it's just Nate. The Nate you loved from the moment you met him. The Nate that was my best friend. Ok just take a deep breath.' She took a deep breath and knocked. Then the door opened and there he was. They just stood there, just looking at eachother.

"Hey" Nate said after moment of silence.

"Hey"

"Come in please."

Jenny stepped in and was left speechless. The room was decorated with candles and rose leaves and wine. There was so much. Then Nate spoke up.

"I'm sorry this must look very cheese and I understand if you want me tot take it away if you ..."

"No I love it. Yeah it's cheesy but I think it's very sweet."

"You really think so? I left an hour earlier so that I could finish this."

"Why all this effort?"

"Because you are worth it. I told you that I would wait for you and that is what I'm doing."

"Nate." He was about to interupt her

"No let me finish." she said. He nodded his head for her to continue.

"I know that you want to be with me but before that happens I think we need to talk first. We stil have a lot to sort out.

"Yeah you're right." And with that they sat down on the bed.

"Look Jenny I know I made a lot of mistakes in the past. I want to apoligise for them but the thing is that I was running away from my feelings and I was afraid that if I screwed it up with you that I would lose you. But I already had screwed it up because I was running away. If I would have admitted it from the start who knows how it could've gone. We would have been happy, like really happy because you always made me happy."

"Okay Nate let's start from the beginning first. Nate when I met you I had just met Chuck who forced me to kiss him. And then you and I bumped into eachother and it was amazing and perfect. You were such a gentleman and I immediatly fell in love. But you were with Blaire but in love with Serena and it was already very complicated so I wanted to stay away from you but then you kissed me at the masquerade ball. But you thought that I was Serena so I ran away. But then you found out it was me and you apologised and there was no way for me to escape those feelings. But you were taken. And then we talked at Blaire's birthday and you helped me on my birthday and you just became such a big part of my life. You moved in with us because you had a rough time and it was so fun having you and then you kissed me and I felt like I was in heaven. I knew you were the one, but you ignored me and then you helped me with the querilla fashion show and you kissed me again Nate. But then you moved out without telling me why and you hung out with Vanessa again and you kissed her. You broke my heart again. I had a fight with Agnes and she burned me sketches and designes and I wanted to call you but I couldn't, because we weren't talking anymore. At the snowflake ball I wanted to stop Vanessa because I felt guilty but you told me about the letter and I was happy, but the words you said after that kept chasing me. 'You're not who I thought you were' You followed her out and you kissed her. You broke my heart 3 times in 1 day Nate. That's when I started changing. I met Damien and he reminded me so much of you so I thought if I got together with a look a lik of you, I would get over you but it didn't. It only made my feelings stronger. So when you told me I deserved someone better I hoped you were refering to yourself. So I didn't sleep with him but I slept with Chuck but I wanted it to be you Nate but you were with Serena again. So I left because I needed a break from here and it worked. It is Ironic how Chuck was my first everything, my first kiss, my first time. But if I could go back I would."

Nate cringed at those last sentences.

"Jenny there are no words that can subsribe how sorry I am. But I really love you Jenny. When I first met you I had this feeling to protect you because you were so nice and innocent. At first I thought it was because you were like a sister to me, the more I got to know you the more I knew that was a lie. When we first kissed at the ball I kinda knew it wasn't Serena but I fell in love with the taste of your lips. They fit perfectly. It was like a perfect match. Then we kissed again on the street and I thought I found my happy ending, but I was living with you and I was older and Dan would've never aproved, so I ignored you. Of course I kissed you again when you put on that amazing show, you looked so beautiful. And about leaving your house, so Dan found out and got angry and said that I had to leave. I never wanted to leave without telling you how I felt but I had no choice so I wrote it down. When I found out Vanessa stole the letter I was so pissed with her but then you took revenge and I got mad at you because I was dissapointed, I thought you would never do it. I felt so bad about it but I thought I blew it with you so I went after Vanessa. Then I got with Serena again and all of sudden you were dating someone, well Damien and I was so mad. I thought I had lost you forever so I warned you but you didn't want to listen. I looked everywhere for you that night. Hoping to be in time. Then a lot happend and all of sudden you left and I didn't know why. I was so depressed and I missed you. I really wanted you to at least say goodbye. Then you came back and I found out the truth and almost killed Chuck, when Blair told me you found someone new I died inside. You left again but we kissed and I promised you that I would fight for you Jenny and I'm going to keep that promise. I know a broke a promise once but never again. I love you and I never want to lose you again."

"Good, because I love you to and I don't want to lose you eiter" She whispered and then leaned in and kissed him sweetly.

* * *

Okay it turned out to be longer than I expected but I hope you guys enjoyed it and I'll try to post within the week.

It would be really nice if you guys revieuwd or give idea's.

Lovies

-A.


	10. First date

**Okay guys I finally have some time to write. I am so sorry it took me so long to post the last one. like 6 months so that's why I'm posting this one very soon.**

**Thank you guys for reviewing, keep tuned and revieuw.**

* * *

_Jenny's p.o.v._

Nate was being so sweet and I couldn't help it. So I leaned in and kissed him sweetly. I pulled away.

"I'm sorry, that wasn't supposed to happen. Maybe we are not ready..." I said when all of sudden Nate crashed his lips down on mine again. This kiss was a bit more passionate. Nate pulled away.

"Jenny I love you and I didn't invite you here just to get you in bed. No I want to do this the right way. Today we are going to watch some movies and play videogames like we used to do. And if you allow me I would like to take you out for our first official date tomorrow."

"I'd like that." I said smiling

"Good." He said. He gave me a quick peck on the lips and then we watched some movies and played videogames. Eventually I was tired so I wanted to sleep.

"Uhm Nate ..."

"Yeah?"

"I don't have any pyjama with me."

"Here you can wear my hem."

"Isn't this the hem I wore last time I slept over at your house?"

"Yeah. I thinked you looked really hot in it. It fitted you perfectly." He said smirking

"You perv!" I joked and we laughed.

I went to the bathroom and got changed. His hem smelled good. It smelled safe, like home. It smelled like Nate.

When I got back he was only wearing boxers. I was about to say something when he beat me.

"This is not what it looks like. I always sleep like this but if you want I can put something on." He looked nervous. It was cute and damn his body also got better over the years. I realised that I was staring so I shook my head.

"No no it's fine." We layed down facing eachother and he wrapped his arms around me.

"Hm this feels good."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah it feels like home." I said looking him straight in the eye. He grinned and kissed my forehead.

"Night Jen I love you."

"Goodnight, I love you to."

Whit smiles on our faces we fell asleep.

* * *

_No one's p.o.v._

**_The next morning_**

Jenny woke up and found Nate playing with her hair.

"Goodmorning beautiful." He said

"Morning"

"I called roomservice and they just brought us breakfast. Let's eat.'

They ate and after that Jenny got ready to leave because she had a meeting with Blaire. They kissed eachother goodbye and she left. Once there she and Blaire started the meeting once they were done Jenny told Blaire about Nate.

"I'm so happy for you Jen, I really am."

"Thanks B. But I might need your help to get ready."

Later that day Blaire was helping Jenny.

"That dress is perfect! Now shoes, accesories and make-up."

Once they were done Jenny looked in the mirror.

"Isn't this a bit to much."

"No I don't think so I think Nate..." She was interupted by a knock on the door.

"Speaking of the devil." Blaire said while opening the door.

"Hey Blaire is Jenny ready?"

"Well Nate may I present you your date Jenny Humphrey!" With that she fully openen the door so Nate could come in. But he was stuck to the ground. Jenny was wearing an amzing red dress, her hair done up, not to much make-up."

"Wow. You look perfect."

"Thanks" Jenny shyly said while blushing.

"Okay just go you lovebirds." Blaire said while pushing Jenny towards Nate.

"Have fun and use protection!" She yelled.

"Blaire!" Jenny yelled. Blaire just laughed and closed the door.

"So where are we going?"

"That's a suprise."

"Aww please."

"Nope not telling. You will just have to wait."

We were driving when all off sudden we stopped. Nate stepped out and held the door open for me. When I stepped out my mouth fell open. What I saw was beautiful. We were in what you could call a garden, it was completely decorated and when we got closer I saw that it was full of pictures of us. Tears started welling up in my eyes. Nate spoke up.

"I didn't want to take you a restaurant because I wanted to do something special. Do you like it?"

"Like it? I love it! This is so perfect Nate, you are perfect."

"Let's sit."

We sat, ate, kissed and talked.

"I love the idea with the pictures."

"Thanks it took me all day to look for them. But it was worth it. There is also something else just look between the pictures and you'll find it."

Jenny was looking when all of sudden she saw an envelope.

"Wait is this?"

"Yeah it's the letter I wrote you after I moved out. I kept it with me all this time. Go on read it."

She opened it and started reading.

_Jenny_

_I had to move out after Dan found out about us and I'm sorry for that. I wish we could have more time together but sadly no. _

_I really like you Jenny, like like you like you. I have never felt this way about anyone in my entire life. I just hope that once you read this letter we can hang out again. I really hope Dan sees that I'm serious about you. But you are his little sister and I'm just well me, the girl magnet. So I really hope Dan gives me permission to date you. _

_When I kissed you I felt fireworks, as if it fitted and I never had that with anyone. I know that you are loyal to your friendship with Vanessa but I think you deserve a little happiness. And I really hope that it could be with me. You are like the missing puzzle piece in my life._

_I think I even love you._

_Loves_

_Your Nate_

By now Jenny was crying.

"Please don't cry." Nate said while whipping away her tears.

"This are happy and sad tears. This is beautiful and it just makes me so sad I never got it. You gave it to me but I gave it back and I regret it."

"I really love you Jenny, with all my heart."

"I love you to, so much." They kissed for a while and then laid down on a blanket to look at a sky.

"This is the perfect first date I have ever had. And the view is just so perfect."

"So are you."

"You are so cheesy" Jenny said while giggling.

"That's all because of you."

After another hour they left and arrived at Jenny's place.

"Thank you for the amazing night. It was amazing."

"You're welcome." He leaned in and kissed her and the kiss became more passionate. All of sudden they were walking towards her bed, she had her legs around his waist and he held her. He laid her down and they made out.

"Jenny I don't want to rush into anything. If you want to wait I get it. I really want to wait for you until you are ready."

"Nate I'm ready for this ever since that night that I wanted to give it to you. Please I love that you are a gentleman but I really want this. We have a lot to catch up on."

With that Nate smirked and you guys all know what happened next.

**Thank you guys for reading. I will try to update ASAP. Please review, it means a lot. So I was rereading my story and I noticed that I made a lot of spelling faults so I'm really sorry for that. From now on I will reread it before posting. Guys if I write faults in my sentences or something just let me know. I'm from Belgium and English is my best subject at school but well I'm still a bit insecure about it.**

**Please guys go on Review and if you guys have ideas let me know, I'm always open for new ideas. Review or just write me.**

**Lots of love for all you guys.**

**-A. **


End file.
